It happens to almost all of us, right? Either you or your friend has to move away; for college, for home after college, to get married, to chase a dream or a new job. It’s always tough to leave your favorites.
In my case, I felt like I was leaving my BFF of 20+ years constantly. First for college, then for a job, then for Caleb’s school overseas after we got married. But, through all the years and different separations, our friendship has always been something constant in my life. The same has been true for a handful of friends across the years. (Gotta find yourself some good, supportive friends like mine, y’all!)
I could write this post from my own perspective, sharing my own tips on how I have done things. Instead, I want to highlight some key qualities and actions that I have seen my friends exhibit while I was away, even while I was living across the globe from them.
5 Things You Can Do to Be an Awesome Long-Distance BFF
1. Text them often
This one seems so easy! But one of the biggest things that saved me while I was living abroad was the group chats that I had with friends and family. Nearly every day we were chatting about everything you can think of, telling jokes, sharing stories. Texting can be a good way to pick up where old conversations left off, start a new one, ask your friend how you can pray for them this week, the possibilities are really up to you. But, from personal experience, having the comfort of familiarity in a faraway place can be a mental and emotional lifesaver for those who are in new places.
2. Schedule video chats
About once a week, Caleb and I would video chat with family while we were in Australia. Planning time was just a little hurdle at first because of the large time difference, but once we got it sorted we were able to keep consistent with it. After moving many times, Caleb and I have loved using video chats. We’ve kept up with close friends the best by video because it’s a designated time for minimal distractions and all-important catch ups with the beautiful faces we miss!
3. Send a gift
Whether it’s for a holiday, birthday or just because, sending your friend a gift is one of the sweetest, most unexpected gestures. Receiving a heartfelt card can go a long way too, especially with those friends you haven’t caught up with in a while. Think of something you know they really like. If you can’t remember, there are tons of subscription boxes that include samples of different products. This can be a really fun option for surprising your friend in an unexpected way!
4. Understand their need for space
I think we can all agree on how important it is. Life is busy and only seems to get busier. It’s important to give grace and cut slack with our close friends when busy times come. Recognizing those moments for them can help in the best way possible, by letting them know the friendship isn’t all about you. When they know you’re always going to be “there,” that freedom can help you both focus attention on important things knowing that your friendship isn’t going to be negatively affected by a little silence.
4. Continue to include your friend in plans
This point may seem contradictory after the last one, but let me explain with this real story from when my friend Kylie got engaged. I had told her that Caleb and I would be moving to Australia soon. Not more than a couple of weeks later when she got engaged, she asked me to be in her wedding party. While I was shocked and conflicted at first, I knew that she did it on purpose. She didn’t want to exclude me, no matter what. And I knew that I wanted to be there for her. So I was! Seven months later when her wedding came, I hopped a flight back to the U.S. and was there the whole week to prepare, go to hair trials, sing at her wedding, the whole shebang. I do not regret spending the money to be there for her and more importantly, I’m thankful she gave me a big push to do so by including me in her plans.
To sum it up
I love that technology has made long-distance friendships much easier than I’m sure they used to be. Social media helps us keep tabs on our friends too, but it’s important to remember that these are just modes or channels, not the basis of the friendship itself.
Your geographical proximity may have helped start the friendship way back when, but it’s the consistent support, shared experiences, and love that has kept this person (or people) in your life. Remember that! Just because your friend is far away doesn’t mean your friendship is over. In fact, in a lot of ways, it can become even stronger.
What’s one thing you do to encourage your friends from far away? Feel free to share in the comments section. <3
